When I turned 18 I was still under the legal supervision of my parents. My parents had the right to review all my records- university grades, medical records and had I a police record- that too (no, I have never had a police record).
Post university, I was completing my second year of a self imposed and sorely needed Gap Year- skiing in a small mountain town of Colorado when I took a nasty tumble on an advanced slope and was taken down the mountain by the ski patrol in an emergency carrier sled, loaded into an ambulance and taken to the local hospital. I phoned my parents and informed them that I would be having reconstructive surgery on my right knee the following day and their comment was not so fast. My mother flew into this lovely town, collected me and flew me back to Chicago where, under their supervision, surgery was conducted by a well known orthopedic surgeon who worked for one of the major sports teams in Chicago.
Not a chance that any of the above would happen today. 18 is today’s legal age in the US. We, as parents, lose our rights to make decisions about health care, legal rights and a few other aspects of our children’s lives despite the fact that their brains will not fully develop until they are in (at least) their mid 20s.
Good bits of advice for parents/guardians:
HIPAA Authorization (HHS.gov)
Advanced Directive Will (ncbi.hlm.hih.gov)
This is an unsettling thing to discuss with an 18 year old going off to college, or a high schooler who will be turning 18. However, end of life decisions and illnesses do happen. Unfortunately, a dear friend just recently had both of these discussions with her young adult son.
The HIPAA waiver will allow your young adult to be privy to medical records and medical information should the situation be necessary.
Power of Attorney/Health Care Proxy
If for some reason, your young adult becomes incapacitated for medical reasons, parents should/would be the next in line for medical decisions. Each state may have different laws on whether a proxy is witnessed or notarized.
The FERPA Law (studentprivacy.ed.gov)
I recall receiving grades at my home and my parents did too. They saw the good, the bad and the ugly. For whatever reason, we saw our daughter’s grades, but not our son’s. If you remember, your young adult waived the right to see their Letters of Recommendation on The Common Application (which is the correct thing to do) This FERPA law carries over to university where parents are unable to see grades and perhaps other relevant information regarding university life. Once on campus, the student should go to the registrar or bursar’s office and reverse the FERPA so more information can be sent to the parents.
For international students, the medical system in the US will probably be the most foreign and complex aspect of your higher education life to conquer. Our medical system is not a state run system/country runsystem even though hospitals claim to be non profit. Medicine is pricey here. Be sure your coverage is appropriate and will cover you in other states as well- along with the above.
Difficult Conversations
Yes, some difficult conversations to be held as students turn into young adults. It will be challenging to wrap their heads around these concepts, particularly if your young adult turns 18 in high school.The mindset is- this could never happen to me. For that matter, we, as parents, somewhat share the same mindset, a catastrophe happens to other people, not us. For students coming from abroad, this may seem quite foreign to you, but this is something that must be accomplished. For the US based students, your family attorney can take care of this, for students from abroad, it is important to take care of this as well. Some universities are posting this information on the family website. Please don’t ignore it.