I received this from a dear friend and colleague who is a licensed social worker. Danielle works mostly with adults, but I loved this: Reset and Recalibrate. You can see from her letter to me, she, like many of us, have had a tough time focusing. I was glad to see this, because, truth be told, I have been having a tough time with focus and this ‘Reset and Recalibrate’ makes so much sense to me.
If you have teens and they need to ‘reset’, I think you can do this with them. We so often lose sight to be compassionate with ourselves, see what we need to see within ourselves. At the end of this piece, there is a lovely YouTube that was sent around put together by students who, perhaps did not go through RESET and RECALIBRATE, but, you can tell from the YOUTUBE video, they certainly did some self-reflection.
At the bottom, you will see Danielle’s information. Don’t hesitate to contact her. She generally works with adults. I reiterate… this is probably the best advice I have seen since this whole virus put us in a physical/social distancing state. Don’t forget to watch the YouTube at the end of Danielle’s six steps.
Reset and Recalibrate
I was with my Coaching for Career Direction group Friday morning and we all were carrying mixed emotions regarding social distancing, our work, and personal lives.
As much as we wanted to do the coursework scheduled for the morning, we could not focus. I decided to spend the morning helping my clients through an exercise that I’ve learned through my recent training on self-empathy.
So what is self-empathy? It’s the ability to send compassion to oneself.
It’s so easy to be compassionate to others, but rarely do we give ourselves permission to be self-compassionate.
In the whole scheme of things, many of us have never lived through a pandemic before- we have to adjust and stretch in ways we never thought.
So how do we reset and recalibrate? We have to be self-compassionate- spend time with ourselves and understand what’s happening within.
For many of us, meditation is tough and we need something more structured, so this exercise provides a foundation to go within, understand what is happening, and to give some self-compassion and clarity as to what we need to do next.
Here are the six steps to reset and recalibrate:
Step 1: Put your thoughts and judgments on paper.
Some therapists call this a brain dump, but it’s the idea that you put everything that is in your mind on paper. Give yourself two minutes and clear your mind and vent.
Step 2: Observe what is happening from a birds-eye view.
Once you’ve put our judgments on paper, it’s helpful to write down the facts. It helps remove the emotion from what you’re experiencing and to see your situation from a birds-eye view.
Step 3: Fully sense your feelings.
Your feelings are a doorway to allow you to feel what is alive in you and what’s important to you. There is no such thing as a good or bad feeling- they are just comfortable or uncomfortable.
In the practice of self-empathy, you permit yourself to feel your feelings and emotions fully. Take a look at this worksheet here and ask yourself which ones are you experiencing at this moment.
Allow yourself to recognize where your feelings sit in your body and describe them.
Permit yourself to normalize your feelings because EVERYONE HAS THEM!
Your feelings will be the doorway to your needs and what might be missing in your life.
Step 4: Fully sense your needs.
We are a society that ignores needs. Our needs are qualities that we all share in common such as connection, physical well-being, honesty, peace, safety, security, play, peace, autonomy, and meaning. These are the qualities that allow us to feel alive, important, and meaningful to us.
During this time of COVID-19 and social distancing, your needs may have shifted. Take a look at this worksheet here, what are your met and unmet needs at this moment?
A big part of self-empathy is to recognize and honor your needs because you realize what is important to you and where you might need to make some shifts or changes.
Step 5: Giving yourself positive affirmations.
A big part of self-empathy is giving yourself the messages you need to hear that are supportive and loving. These messages are free of judgments, “shoulds”, and demands.
They might sound like, “You’ve got this.”, “I trust myself.”, “I’m on my journey.”
Just try saying a few to yourself and notice what happens.
We can only make changes and shifts when we have supportive and loving messages are behind it.
Step 6. Come up with a strategy.
And now that you’ve down the work to reset and recalibrate, you are ready to come up with a strategy.
The strategy will come quickly at this point because you are in touch with your needs at the deepest level and given yourself the support to take action.
Whether your strategy is a request of yourself, someone else, or something you need to do, it’s going to come from a place of alignment because you’re in touch with yourself.
And if you would like to practice self-empathy with me, I’ll be hosting a free virtual workshop on Friday, April 3rd, from 6:00-7:15 AM MST, 8:00-9:15 EST. Please click here to access the Zoom link or call +16468769923,,4950069639#.
Sending light and love your way.
Danielle Menditch, LCSW, GCDFI
Certified Career Coach
720.443.1093 or 301.767.7292 || innercompasscoach.com